Please do not ever take down the big top, Brett, for re-mixing your finest myths never gets old. I thought about waiting until after you met with the media today to put this together, but upon further review figured, “What’s the point?” Your story never changes.

So frighteningly predictable is your method, that you boarded the private jet back to MN exactly one year to the day that Ziggy originally picked up your spoiled butt in 2009.

The script for today’s presser-to-be was written three years ago. Let’s see, you won’t be able to believe that you’re back, especially after how things ended last year. Then you’ll lay a thick foundation for failure, stressing that your ankle is not 100%. You won’t know how well you’ll hold up until you really get out there. But ultimately, something inside you said you weren’t done yet. You had a list of reasons why you should hang it up and why you should return. In the end, it was your teammates and your family who got through to you. After all, it’s never been about you, and it’s certainly not about the money.

Did I miss anything, liar?