« Nick's Notes

Undisputed Champion

by Nick Vitrano

Photo courtesy of Creative Commons

It’s tough to find a candy bar that isn’t delicious. Snickers, Kit-Kat, Milky Way, Twix, Baby Ruth, and on and on and on. I’ve always thought the Skor was a very underrated bar – never gets enough credit. The Heath has always had top billing. But Score is a smoother toffee, more buttery.  The 3 Musketeers is useless - a waste of a candy bar wrapper.  They can try to tout its light and airy, guiltless texture, but we all see through your smokescreen, Mars Inc.

Regardless of my affinity for all bars candy, there is one that will forever reign supreme in my heart. As a kid, my grandfather introduced me to the sweet combination of chocolate, peanut flavored crisps, and caramel, and nothing has ever been able to measure up.

The Whatchamacallit, as it is known, was always my first purchase at the 76 gas station after Saturday afternoon paper route collecting. Yes, before the pack of Topps or Donruss baseball cards…before the RC Cola…before the Big league Chew…I wrapped my grubby little paws around a Whatchamacallit. Instant happiness for a mere 40 cents.  As it stands, inflation does not appear to have impacted the candy bar world the same as other commodities, thank goodness.  A king size Whatchamacallit is available for just a buck.  Yeah...one dollar.  USA-USA-USA!

It’s the time of the year when we’re all finding new an interesting ways to bracket obscure categories of competition. In that spirit, I give you the Whatchamacallit – my #1 seed in the candy bar tournament of chocolate.  And Thingamajig - get outta here.  You'll never be as good as your older brother.