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C’mon, Febreze – Gimme A Break

by Nick Vitrano

As the owner of approximately 3 dozen “As Seen On TV” products, one could say that I’m a sucker for a sales pitch.  OK…I am a sucker, but I proclaim loudly and proudly that, despite my chump status, I have made very few poor decisions in the infomercial department.  The overwhelming majority of products that I have secured have been successes.  I’m not a 3am, can’t sleep, “Yeah, I do have a hard time getting soap scum off of my shower curtain!” kind of purchaser.  It’s a drawn out analysis of assessed need, claim legitimacy, and cost scrutiny.  I know, I know…shocker…Nick conducts a drawn out analysis before making a purchase.

Anyway, my point is that I put a lot of thought into a potential purchase before pulling the trigger.  Like lyrics to a song, I pay close attention.  So yesterday this new Febreze Allergen Reducer spray danced across my screen.  Being a year-round dust/mold allergy sufferer, I was very interested in what this might be able to do for me…until I watched the commercial.  The product’s big moment came in the pillow test.  Here, see it for yourself:


Oh wow!  That’s incredible!  Yeah.  The thing is, you would achieve the exact same result with a spray bottle filled with plain old water.  The Febreze has nothing to do with it.  The pillow on the right doesn’t erupt with dust BECAUSE IT’S WET!