Nick's Knacks

Pat Venditte is as honest fellow. 

“I don’t have overpowering stuff from either side,” he says, “so I think I really need this.”

What is “this?”  Take a look:

The rule referenced in the video didn’t come about as a result of a forward thinking baseball official.  Quite the contrary.  Like many modifications to the games we love, its creation was a product of one of those “I never thought of that” moments:

Venditte put his stuff on display for the Yankees in a spring training game yesterday, and did all right – 1.1 IP - 1ER – 2H – 1BB.  By all accounts, he has a ways to go, but you can’t help but pull for the guy…not because of the circus act that is his ambidextrous style, but because it’d be nice for a guy out of the pen to last more than one batter before getting yanked!

In case you’re wondering exactly what the Venditte rule is:

• The pitcher must visually indicate to the umpire, batter and runner(s) which way he will begin pitching to the batter. Engaging the rubber with the glove on a particular hand is considered a definitive commitment to which arm he will throw with. The batter will then choose which side of the plate he will bat from.

• The pitcher must throw one pitch to the batter before any "switch" by either player is allowed.

• After one pitch is thrown, the pitcher and batter may each change positions one time per at-bat. For example, if the pitcher changes from right-handed to left-handed and the batter then changes batter's boxes, each player must remain that way for the duration of that at-bat (unless the offensive team substitutes a pinch hitter, and then each player may again "switch" one time).

• Any switch (by either the pitcher or the batter) must be clearly indicated to the umpire.

• There will be no warm-up pitches during the change of arms.

• If an injury occurs the pitcher may change arms but not use that arm again during the remainder of the game.

Enjoy it while you can American Idol fans, for the ultimate reality show is displaying all the signs of extinction:

• Seacrest is annoyingly over the top with his pointed jabs and dramatic pauses.
• The production crew has developed new features (such as the green room camera) to distract you from the fact that…
• The talent is as weak as it’s ever been.
• And Simon is leaving, effective the crowning of this year’s champ.

It’s about time for A.I. to introduce a new kid to the cast, isn’t it?  Gimme an Oliver (Brady Bunch), a Sam (Diff’rent Strokes), an Andrew (Family Ties), a Luke (Growing Pains), a Scrappy Doo…so we can finally end this. 

But alas, the show still goes on.  And so we still vlog…

The pairing of “rusty” and “nail” conjures up childhood memories of a tree house, a pediatrics office, a long, tetanus booster filled syringe, and three days of injection site soreness.

I was a hypochondriac in youth, and episodes like the aforementioned served only to enhance my paranoia. Every cut, every bruise, every ache and pain was an underlying symptom of something far more serious…likely deadly. I don’t know how my parents put up with me sometimes, though I think they do assume some responsibility for shaping my suspicions.

Hospitals and doctors weren’t oft utilized in my family. We had our normal physicals and occasional ER runs, and my sinuses were good for three to five Dr. Burke visits a year, but for the most part, we took care of our maladies at home. “You’re Fine. Sleep on it,” was a frequent utterance of my father. Truth be told, I now look back on his approach and find sanity in it. If we had zipped over to St. Joe’s Hospital every time we beyatched about somethin’, there’d have been named a Vitrano wing before I hit first grade. And hey, my parents did the best they could – and their best was pretty darn good.

But there were multiple instances in which “sleep on it” fell well short of the right thing to do. “Dad, my arm is broken. Seriously. I know it’s broken.”

Now, in the case of a rusty nail piercing the flesh, it’s not paranoia to insist upon medical attention. Rusty nails were hazardous in youth, and remain so in adulthood. Until this past weekend, there was little good that I could say about a rusty nail.

Then I went to Kroll’s West.

My wife and I hit Kroll’s West for perch on Friday and stopped into the bar on the way out for a cocktail with our man Jason – yeah, the same Jason that comes on the show every Tuesday.

The gracious host that he is, Jason offered to buy us each a drink. “Old fashioned…rusty nail…what can I get ya?”

Against my better judgment, I threw caution to the wind and went with the nemesis of my youth – the rusty nail. Scotch. Drambuie. Done. Just that simple…and oh so delicious.

The paradox that is the rusty nail – though I’m certain that this rusty nail and that of my youth trigger the same effects in a man. So I guess it’s not so paradoxical after all.

Photo courtesy of Creative Commons

As I predicted yesterday, Paige Miles ate it last night on American Idol. Unfortunately, her exit is bittersweet, for it means that Tim Urban will be touring this summer. What can you do? Life isn’t fair.

I suppose something could be done, but that would be neither legal nor moral, and I am in no way endorsing or encouraging anyone to take action against Tim. He is merely the beneficiary of a warped voting public. Fault not the man. Fault ourselves.

So let us erase Paige from our American Idol big board, and restore Tim as best we can:

11 contestants. Only 10 will tour.

Sorry, Paige. I didn’t think it was possible to out-heinous Tim Urban, but you found a way. Thanks for playing. Do not pass go…do not collect $200.

This would be a good time to jump in that hot tub time machine and head back to the day when your family and friends convinced you that you had “it.”

Dunking is cool. Dunking in high school is even cooler. Forcing the relocation of a game (mid-game) because of a high school dunk is possibly the coolest ever:

Courtesy of WZZM13.com:

The MHSAA boys regional finals game between Rockford and Grand Haven was moved from Grandville to Jenison High School tonight after a player shattered a backboard during a slam dunk.

WZZM 13's Dan Harland covered the game tonight at Grandville High School. He reports Grand Haven senior center Nate Van Arendonk was going for the dunk with Grand Haven leading, 18-15, with 2:37 left in the 3rd quarter. Van Arendonk's dunk shattered the backboard.

Game officials tried bringing in an alternate backboard, but at 8 p.m., they decided to move the game to Jenison High School.

Grand Haven won the game and the regional championship 39-36.

Reported by WZZM 13 Sports Dan Harland

So yeah…awesome dunk…funny story, but read through it again. Anything stand out to you? Take another look if you’re not yet there. See it? 18-15 with 2:37 left in the 3rd quarter? What a crappy game! How did either of these teams make it through the regional semifinal?

Thank God Van Arendonk did shatter the backboard or that gymnasium might still be sleeping.

The recent warm-up doesn’t have the makings of a typical Wisconsin false spring. We weren’t 56 then 31 then 62 then snow. It’s actually been a pretty consistent stretch. Naturally, we’re all a little excited to get a jump on the summertime fun. After all, Mother Nature goes from smilie to beyatch real quickly around here.

But I caution you. While the urge to flip off Punxsutawney Phil and his poor prognosticating prowess is strong…we’re not yet entirely in the clear:

Now that I'm done laughing and I've changed my pants, I hope the dude's okay.

So I got my rear end smoked in the American Idol “Watch It: Yes or No?” poll yesterday. But c’mon, more people watch this show every week than tune in to Monday Night Football. I know I’m not the only dude in our listening audience taking it in.

My theory: you fellas out there fear man-card revocation for coming clean, so you hide, like a closet glam rock fanatic. You know you bought “Look What the Cat Dragged In.”

So here it goes. Against what the poll numbers would indicate, Z and I have backed this A.I. Video Blog up to the launch pad:

Allow me to extend a little Luck O' the Irish your way, courtesy of the Hoff. 

I know this is a photoshop job, as are most of the Hoff holiday images you'll find out there on the old internet, but don't you get the feeling that he'd actually go for something like this?

By all reports, it’s a done-deal…the NCAA Tournament will expand to 96 teams sooner than later. For the record, I’m not patently against it as many “purists” are. What is a purist, anyway? Why don’t we just call the purists what they really are – cranky opponents to change:

“Your old road is rapidly agin’.

Please get out of the new one if you can’t lend your hand

For the times they are a-changin’.”

Now, from time to time, the purist makes a great point. Take the professional athletes participating in the Olympics situation. The purist says, “Bah, I don’t like it.” Good call. Then there’s MLB’s Wild Card – Costas…err the purist… “Bah, I don’t like it.” WRONG!

The truth is that it’s not about purist vs. activist. It’s about logic and argument. If it makes sense to leave well enough alone, then we ought to. If it makes sense to adjust in the presence of compelling evidence, then we ought to.

To date, no fact, no stat, no case has been presented in this court room that tilts my scale in favor of expansion. And Sunday evening didn’t help.

Once again, we’ve reached the hours after selection, and there’s (at most) a handful of controversy. Virginia Tech, Mississippi State, and Illinois – that’s about it. And that’s pretty much how it is every year. Generally, three to five teams on the outside have a legitimate argument for inclusion. Three to five…not 32.

And so there it is. Three to five teams, and yet every year, we congratulate the committee for putting together a solid tournament field. Is it that hard? Here you go fellas:

1 – Take your top 25 and add the “others receiving votes” in increasing numerical order. The most votes becomes 26; the second most votes becomes 27; and so on. That gets us around 42, 43 teams.

2 – Factor in the automatic qualifying teams that did not make the top 42 or 43. That gets you to about 52 teams.

3 – Sprinkle in the best of the bubbles, and there you go.

Setting the bracket is not that hard - the real reason to leave the tournament alone.

On yesterday’s show, Maino asked a seeming innocent question:

“If I were to be featured on the cover of a magazine, what would it be?”

First of all, he was already on the cover of Boomers, and in light of this photo pushed my way by Scotty B, he clearly was fishin’ – tossing out a question to which he already knew the answer:

Maino’s got more magazine covers than Jennifer Aniston!

Remember Marion Jones? Well, she’s back.

Apparently the IOC’s stripping of her 5 Olympic medals from the 2000 Sydney games, and a little prison time for lying to federal prosecutors, isn’t embarrassment enough for MJ. She’s signed a contract with the WNBA (Tulsa Shock). Yeah, the WNBA still exists…and they have a website and everything!

Really quick side note on Jones and the IOC: in addition to reclaiming her Olympic medals from Sydney, the committee also DQd her 5th place long jump finish from ’04 Athens. I love that. I often struggle to recall who took silver. 5th place? Marion Jones is now the only 5th place Olympian that I know.

So back to Jones and the WNBA:

"I'm extremely excited to join the team and the WNBA," Jones said in a statement on the WNBA website. See, I told you they had a website.

Apparently Jones is quite the baller – she attended North Carolina on a hoops scholarship, won the National Championship in 1994, and was drafted by Phoenix in 2003. She still ranks in UNC’s top 10 in career assists (5th), steals (3rd), and blocks (7th). She can play.

I’m not trying to deny Jones the opportunity at a second chance. But in all honesty here – who’s taking the bigger hit: Marion Jones for associating herself with a non-entity, or the WNBA for associating itself with a disgraced athlete?

Or perhaps this is a win-win. Desperate times call for desperate measures…and each side is equally frantic for a boost. And it just might work in the short term.

I can’t say that I’m at all hoping it succeeds, but I am marginally interested in seeing Jones play.