Nick's Knacks

It’s happening.  It’s really happening!  I received the following photos from our boys at Titletown today.  Leaping Monkey Brown Ale has transitioned from concept to reality.

The mash in:

The hops:

The spent grain:

Time to boil:

Look at that beautiful color:

The target date to tap that sweet nectar is leap day – Wednesday, February 29th at 6pm.  A festival of merriment must ensue.

It’s certainly not my favorite cast of all-time, though it’s far from the worst.  This group of SNLers produces some pretty good stuff.  The entire show may be hit-or-miss, but when they hit, as they did with Saturday’s cold open, they really knock it out of the park:

Looks like Jeremy Lin is going to have quite an All-Star weekend in Florida next week.  Now, Tallahassee, home of Florida State University, is a bit of a jaunt from Orlando, home of the 2012 NBA All-Star festivities, but I’m certain Mr. Lin will find the trip more than worthwhile – if for nothing else, the look on xoxoAngieAngel’s face when she answers her dorm room door:

Somewhere, Angie’s father is so proud.

It’s February 17^th…not March 2^nd.  And even though, on February 16^th, news regarding the future of the WIAA state basketball tournaments and the Resch Center smelled rosy, a lot can happen in the next two weeks.  As Outkast once sang, “Lean a little bit closer, see that roses really smell like poo-oo-oo.”

This one smells funny to me, and I can’t shake the feeling that we’re being played.

If the WIAA board was all set to turn the tournament over to Green Bay and the Resch, why give Madison one last chance to again assure clearance of the schedule?  The schedule is either clear or it’s not, and though UW made arrangements to have the new Big Ten hockey conference tournament at a neutral site beginning in 2014, the issue of booking conflicts is pretty black-and-white.  The “try again, UW” approach suggests to me that the WIAA isn’t quite ready to say “adios” to MadTown.

And then there’s the whole publicity of this.  If talks are ongoing, if this isn’t yet a done deal, if UW is being permitted ANOTHER opportunity to tweak the bid, why issue any statements at all?  There’s truly nothing to discuss if the board is still entertaining arguments.  The old “it’s looking good for you guys” public decree reeks of a negotiating ploy.

Maybe I’m wrong.  I hope I am.  But I think we all should postpone the party until March 2^nd.   

It’s hardly Jim Irsay vs. Peyton Manning, but the first Tomahawk cruise missile has been launched by the writers of the animated TV series Napoleon Dynamite:

Your move, Craig Counsell.

Regardless of your feelings on the day, Valentine's Day exists.  Though you may choose to do so, ignoring the Hallmark holiday doesn't wipe it clean from the calendar of events.  

Far many, today is a joyous day on which to celebrate the many relational blessings that have befallen them.  For others, today is a crappy reminder of relationships failed and seemingly hopeless horizons.  

The former don't need my help, and there isn't much I can do for the latter, save offer this pictorial of optimism:

There's plenty of the Hoff to go around.

Hey great news, everybody: Randy Moss is looking for takers for the upcoming NFL season.  Whew!  Thank goodness one of the league’s most notorious malcontents has decided to bless us with his presence next year.  I can finally exhale.  I’ve been waiting for this announcement ever since the Great Randino, in the face of declining skills and increasing attitude, “walked away” from the NFL last August. 

"I just wanna go to a team and play some football," Moss announced on Ustream.tv.  "Faith, family, and football, that's my M.O., bro. Your boy be back for the upcoming season."

That’s terrific, Randy.  So glad that you “just wanna go to a team and play some football.”  The thing is…a team is going to have to just wanna sign you.  What you conveniently left out of your statement was “on my terms.”  Football on your terms is your true M.O., bro.

But alas, people can change, right?  So, Randatola, please tell me where you best fit:

You’re 35 years old, have been out of the game for a year, and were benched by your last team for being out of shape and not playing out the routes in which you were not the target.  You’re a well documented cancerous growth in the locker room and demanded, before you departed, that you latch on to a winner so that you could get your ring.  Yeah, I don’t see a problem with you getting a job at all.  Sounds like you fit perfectly within a winning organization’s short term plans.  And heck, if no winner wants to grab ya, there will be a long line of developing teams kickin’ in the door for the services of a savvy veteran such as you to guide their youth into the most effective years of their careers.

Oops, sorry.  I forgot.  We’re giving Ram-a-lama-ding-dong the benefit of the doubt.  After all, he had some “real life” stuff to sort out when he hung it up last fall.

"I had to really get out of the fast lane and really get a grasp on what was going on in my real life," he said, adding, "I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm happy to be in the position I'm in. I've been playing football since I was six-years old. I don't think y'all really realize that. The day I retired took a lot to call it quits, took a lot of guts."

Oh, thank goodness you’re okay.  We were all so worried about how you were going to handle real life and your job.  None of us knows what that’s like.  And get right the heck outta here!  You’ve been playing football since you were six years old?  Man, that’s nuts.  I had no idea you were so dedicated.  I’m certain no other players in the NFL can boast such a long competitive history with the game.       

And as if the Ran-Man’s ramblings weren’t enough of a study in disconnection, dude closes out by flattering himself with a tale of guts.

Guts. 

Awesome.

Walking away from a Hall of Fame NFL career that made you millions of dollars takes so little guts it boggles the mind.  You want to talk mettle and the NFL?  Pat Tillman’s willing departure from the National Football League in order to serve his country on the front lines took guts.

You want credit for doing the right thing?  For taking care of your family and your "real life?"  Sorry, pal.  Every day, countless individuals who permanently reside in the real world, who have far less that what you've got, make the decision to care for their families and their friends - make the decision to be there for another in need at their own expense - make the decision to sacrifice where they are not rich, be that in time or in money or in some other subcategory of "real life."

The list of things infinitely gutsier than your account of intestinal fortitude is so exhaustive that I don't even know where to begin.  I can only hope that 32 GMs have the guts to toss your number in the trash where it belongs.

Photo:Wikimedia Commons

Nothing about Will Ferrell is all that surprising.  That is to say, his shtick is pretty predictable.  You’re going to get some type of visual shocker - an outfit or a hairstyle, facial growth, even in-your-face nudity – an expected tone of voice and rhythm to his speech, and then the casual, seemingly innocent personal attack to bring it home.

Generally speaking, when a dude or an act becomes anticipated, it ceases to be effective.  But Ferrell is a master of the random.  Therein lies his genius.  You know something is coming.  You have a pretty decent idea of the means of delivery.  But it always catches you just enough off-guard to make you laugh.

It was 80’s night in New Orleans yesterday for the Hornets and the visiting Bulls, and Ferrell got the nod to voice the pre-game introductions:

He's still good...though he's really starting to look old.

Is this the biggest indication yet that the fissure between two of the greatest Lakers…two of the greatest NBAers…of all time is being bridged?

With 28 points (in a losing effort) last night, Kobe Bryant passed his former teammate and media adversary, Shaquille O’Neal, for fifth on the NBA’s all-time scoring list. 

Before a very public airing of grievances, culminating in Shaq famously asking Kobe how his…ahem…rear end tastes, the duo, arguably the greatest 1-2 punch ever, led the Lakers to three consecutive titles in 2000, 2001, and 2002.  But an unsettled foundation crumbled immediately following the 2004 NBA Finals loss to Detroit.

I always regarded the pair’s verbal jabs as that wrestling match between a kid and his brother on the living room floor.  It all starts out as friendly sparring, but then one dude gets in a good groinal shot and it is on.

Kobe’s rape trial seemed to be said groinal shot, as it has always been alleged that Kobe remarked to police something along the lines of he should have paid off his ladies to keep their mouths shut, like O’Neal.  Yikes.

So anyway, there was all that, then Shaq with Miami and the “tell me how my you-know-what tastes” rap, then Kobe wins back-to-back titles and takes his “one more than Shaq poke” in the media…etc., etc.  So it was interesting to see how quickly Shaq took to Twitter and the airwaves last night to congratulate Bryant on his achievement. 

But take a listen to Shaq’s praise.  Interesting that he tips his cap to Kobe’s family not once, but twice, just – what 6 weeks? – after Bryant’s divorce to wife Vanessa went public.  Well played, Mr. O’Neal:

So our discussion on vintage beer cans this moring yielded the following figurine discovery from our man Brad.  If ever there was a time for a caption contest, this is it.  Have at it, folks:

I don’t have any overwhelming love nor irresistible hate for either of the participants in Super Bowl 46.  The lack of rooting interest doesn’t dampen my enthusiasm for the game, however.  I am really excited to sit back and enjoy what I hope will be a thriller in the absence of the gut wrenching anxiety that accompanies a vested interest in any game’s outcome. 

And, of course, I can’t wait for the commercials.

Last week, we were teased with the “Matthew’s Day Off” Ferris Bueller spoof campaign:

I’m not sure why, but Honda has leaked (is leaked the right word?) the extended version of the game-day commercial. As a huge Ferris fan, this is brilliant on so many levels. Naturally, there is the obvious parody, but keep your eyes open for the subtle references that are easily overlooked. There are a ton of ‘em:

How many can you spot?  I've got 8...and counting.